Compliance, Consequence, Vulnerability and Mystery
When religious leaders leverage our fear and need for more certainty by extracting vulnerability from spirituality and turning faith into “compliance and consequences,” rather than teaching and modeling how to wrestle with the unknown and how to embrace mystery, the entire concept of faith is bankrupt on its own terms. Faith minus vulnerability equals politics, or worse, extremism. Spiritual connection and engagement is not built on compliance, it’s the product of love, belonging, and vulnerability.
Brene' Brown “Daring Greatly”
It seems like the entrance fee to religious communities is an acceptance and conformity of their stated beliefs. Doctrines are taught and come with the expectation that they will be adhered to. Some “grace” is given to the new comer, but before long they too will be judged by their faith in the foundational beliefs. Compliance (often defined as trust) is celebrated and rewarded. Consequences are doled out, sometimes by the leadership (who point out frequently in messages the way people are falling short), sometimes by the members (who quietly or overtly pass judgment) and certainly by God who will ultimately settle accounts for those who have not marched in step with the “definitive truths of the universe” (as divined by that particular religious persuasion).
The result of the “compliance and consequence” approach is an extraction of any sense of vulnerability, raw, uncensored honesty and individual spirituality. Who would step into one of these communities hoping to be accepted and “loved” and share their disagreement with one or some of the stated beliefs? By what authority would one be able to question or refute what has been decided upon and adhered to for generations? What room is left for the authentic experiences people have had with God, their worlds and themselves? When something that is taught and held by an institution runs crosswise with the deep “knowing” of an individual, what option is there for that individual to authentically and humbly share this with the community without judgment?
Imagine a community of faith that decides to emphasize the guidelines for being with each other rather than the belief requirements to be accepted by each other. What prevents us from this posture when we all intuitively want to be treated in this way? FEAR. We so often believe that as religiously unskilled and theologically uneducated we could not know anything or much of anything about the meaning of life nor grasp the enormity of God. More, we fear “getting it wrong.” We fear the consequences of not following the compelling and most often substantial belief traditions of centuries old religious organizations. With the afterlife being the biggest carrot held out by most religious traditions, no matter how disconnected people might be from the belief systems of that tradition, the potential cost of authenticity is just too great to sway from the authoritative doctrine.
What if the role of faith communities is less about what to believe (conformity) and the rewards and consequences that follow that conformity and more about creating an environment where people can authentically pursue an ever growing deeply personal faith? “Teaching and modeling how to wrestle with the unknown and how to embrace mystery” sounds like a more substantive and humble role that spiritual communities could offer. This posture comes less from a place of having it all figured out and thus merely requiring compliance than inviting others to join the in the exhilarating journey of pursing, discovering and knowing an enormous magnificent and at least somewhat unknowable God.
If, in fact, love is the core essence of God as most religious traditions would affirm, it seems odd that we have instead chosen correctness and belief affirmation as the ultimate rite of passage into a valid religious faith. Love, instead, seems to demand space for acceptance, understanding, vulnerability and authenticity. God’s love is often defined as “unconditional” and yet, the way most religious traditions dole it out is completely conditional on ones adherence to it’s the systems of belief. Belonging can certainly be achieved by conformity, but that is not the deep and rich kind of belonging that comes from being welcomed just as you are and being inspired to passionately pursue a faith that reflects the unique and wondrous ways the Spirit has, is and will lead, affirm and move in one’s individual life.
